Humans are not the most social animal. Ants, bees, and termites put humanity to shame on many metrics of sociality. A wide variety of relatives live together with perfectly harmonious behavior and collectively care for their young. But while insect colonies are impressively social places, it’s not our kind of social life. Bees always build hexagonal hives, ants march in lines, and termites move in zigzag formations. These patterns recur predictably because they are tightly programmed genetically and propelled pheromonally. We humans are more free, less tightly programmed genetically, so our social patterns can be more diverse and dynamic. Every group dances a slightly different dance, and these choreographies change across generations. We still think and act in ways that are in harmony with others around us, but it is through patterns that are more shaped by nurture, not just nature.